Blacky's Burrow

Damn!  It’s Friday again!  Didn’t we just go through this shit last week?

These weeks have been going by like lightening.  It seems like just a week or so ago, we were running around outside without jackets.  Today it’s 16 ° outside, and it doesn’t look like it’s going to get any warmer soon.

I miss summer already.  I miss being able to sit down at the bench by the lake.  And I miss my ducks.  A buddy of mine called me last night to let me know that he was back from Iowa.  He went down for a week or two to help his brother out and ended up spending over a month.  I thought I would go over today and visit, but I woke up this morning with a headache that just wouldn’t quit.  It still hasn’t quit.

I’ve been getting personal messages on Twitter all day from four different women.  Three of them are obviously looking to sell me access to their porn pictures galleries.  The fourth one is too, but she isn’t quite as obvious about it.  If I didn’t know any better, I would say that she was looking for a sugar daddy and hoping that I would be the one.  I get a lot of those message on Twitter and Facebook.  Women who are looking for a husband, or at least a boyfriend online.  I usually just say hello, good-bye, and say I’m too busy to talk.

Recently, I blocked a woman on Facebook.  The first time I’ve done that in a few years.  She kept sending me friend suggestions for people that live in my building, I know who they are, and i don’t want anything to do with them.  Why would I want to add them to my Facebook?

Thanksgiving is coming up next week.  I really don’t expect anybody to invite me for dinner.  That part doesn’t bother me.  It usually ended up that the people already invited 40 people and I’m number 41.  Especially when they have a house where it gets crowded with 6 people, and everybody is walking all over everybody else just to get around.

I’ll go get some sliced turkey at the deli the day before.  I’ll make up a box of Stove Top stuffing, a jar of gravy, and I’ll have a hot turkey sandwich.  Of course I’ll have to make sure that Johnny gets his turkey and gravy.  I can give him the turkey, but until I add the gravy, he won’t touch it.  He has good taste.

I see that Johnny is ready to kick back for the night.  He’s had a rough day sleeping back in the bedroom.  I filled his food bowl, gave him fresh water, and he sat there over his bowl and meowed at me.  I spoiled the little bugger.  When Misty was still alive, I could never just put food down all the time.  She would finish her food, and then she would go and run Johnny off so she could eat his food too.  That’s why she weighed almost 21 pounds.  Johnny has never been over 12 pounds.  People have looked at him and asked me if I ever fed him.  I could shove a side of beef down his throat and  he wouldn’t gain and ounce.  Wish I could do that.

I have a couple of friends coming over from Grand Rapids tomorrow.  I’m sure they are going to want to go out to eat.  No McDonald’s burgers and fries for these people, and thank God for that!  The last time they took me out for dinner, they wanted to go to the Forest Lake Restaurant back in Grand Rapids.  I was up for that!  I used to eat at Forest Lake all the time.  We ended up driving all the way back to Grand Rapids, having dinner at Forest Lake, and then going to their house for drinks and some good bud for dessert.

They ended up driving me home at one in the morning, and then going to the casino from here.  I hate going to the casino without any cash, so I decided not to go.

Well, it looks like it’s about that time.  Johnny is demanding attention by trying to lay on my keyboard.  So I suppose I should devote the rest of the night to filling his need for constant attention.  What more can I say?  I’m his human…

In the year 2013, the Lord came unto Noah, Who was now living in America and said: “Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.” “Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans.”

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: “You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.”

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard – but no Ark.”Noah!,” He roared, “I’m about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?”

“Forgive me, Lord,” begged Noah, “but things have changed.” “I needed a Building Permit.” “I’ve been arguing with the Boat Inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.”

“My homeowners association claim that I’ve violated the Neighborhood by-laws by building the Ark in my back yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the local Planning Committee for a decision.”

“Then the City Council and the Electricity Company demanded a shed load of money for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark’s move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear none of it.”

“Getting the wood was another problem. There’s a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl.” “I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls -but no go!”

“When I started gathering the animals, PETA took me to court. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.”

“Then the Environmental Protection Agency ruled that I couldn’t build the Ark until they’d conducted an environmental impact study on Your proposed flood.”

“I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I’m supposed to hire for my building crew.”

“The Immigration Dept. Is checking the visa status of most of the people who want to work.” “The labor unions say I can’t use my sons. They insist I have to hire only union workers with ark-building experience.”

“To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I’m trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.” “So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this ark.”

“Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine and a rainbow stretched across the sky.”

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, “You mean you’re not going to destroy the world?”

“No,” said the Lord. ” The Government beat me to it.”